Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Fairy Tales

With the end of the Autumn and Thanksgiving season and the opening of the Christmas season I have so much to be thankful for, and so much to look forward to.  My shop is scheduled to open in 38 or so days and while I’m still a scared little rabbit I’m also that thoroughbred chomping on the bit ready to prove myself. 

Josh and A wandering about in
a picnic area in Central Utah

 I’ve been so happy and grateful that reintroducing art into my life has not complicated my schedule or added any more stress onto my shoulders, as I discussed in a previous post it actually lifted some of that stress from me.  But I think my greatest blessing, my greatest asset is my family.  I have two daughters A & E (for their protection and my peace of mind I’ll just refer to them by their first initials) who are healthy, smart, and even though they have a stubborn and sometimes rebellious streak in them (how could they not, they are my kids!) – they are sweet, empathic, social and generous.  I really can’t ask for much more.  But most of all I am so overwhelmingly grateful for my husband.  The man is patient, loving, sensitive, smart, strong and supportive.  I honestly could not do what I do what I do on a daily basis without him. 

Every day I listen to the men I work with complain about their wives, about how much money they spend, about the time they spend on hobbies, about how their cooking isn’t sufficient, etc  and it just embodies the very reason why ten years ago I would have told you that I never wanted to be married.  I knew that so many girls were just expecting a prince to sweep them off their feet and live happily ever after and I just had absolutely no faith in that vision.

Beautiful Solitare ring at Wrought Gold
on Etsy.  Check out the listing here 

  I didn’t want to be married to someone who would tell me what to do, criticize me and not allow me to be myself.  It took a few years but Josh showed me that it isn’t like that for everyone, that with a selfless attitude, love  and a “mend it, don’t end it” attitude that the fairy tale kind of love is a very real thing.
I see myself as a very flawed creature, I suffer from depression and anxiety, I’ve ran the entire gamut of eating disorders in the past decade, and I have a plethora of random health issues; despite all of that he seems to think that I’m perfect, he enjoys watching me work on my projects, admires the finished product and has always encouraged me to follow my dreams, pledging his support to whatever I want to do. 

Failure is always a possibility when one begins on a journey like this, and I fear failure almost above all else.  I don’t think I’m alone in that either, we are taught from such a young age that failure is bad instead of looking at it as a learning experience.  Without the proper support system I just don’t think it is possible for most people to take the nerve-wracking leap to start a small business.  While I need to thank my mother for always running out with me and helping me buy supplies for my latest hobby, and the art teachers who taught me with such enthusiasm. 

one of my favorite pictures of Josh and I

 But, more than any of them my most valuable support is my wonderful husband because I know he will always support me, if I want to quit he will remind me why it is important to me and if this does turn out to be a complete and utter flop he will still love me and will point out the positives – the lessons I learned.  He will encourage me to redirect my energy and try something else.  I don’t think anything is more valuable to a budding shop owner.  Everyone needs that person behind them who believes in them 100% and helps to tame the fear, and if the unthinkable happens will comfort them and help them heal.  Thank you my love.  For the unconditional love and support you show me.  For telling me when we were dating to disagree with you, to stand up for myself and taught me to have the confidence to look people in the eye to listen to their doubt and sometimes discouraging words but follow my heart anyways.

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